Blackbird Leys bus

Teenage girl:  "What does radiation do to you?  Does it melt your bones?"

Glanville Road

Piece of paper spotted in a car windscreen:

APLIDE FOR ROAD TAX

Riley's

Pool player #1: "What film should I watch tonight mate?"
Pool player #2: "Jenna Jameson. You jizz. Get on youjizz.com."

Heathrow coach

Passenger: "Do you do student rates?"
Driver (excitedly): "Yes!"
Passenger: "Really? How much?"
Driver: "We charge triple!"
Passenger (polite laugh): "Hehe. Do you do student rates?"
Driver: "No."

Temple Cowley shopping centre

Sign on shop: "Back in 30 minutes. Sorry for any inconvenience - we assure you of our best intentions at all times."

Blackbird Leys bus

Passenger: "Yeah I went to see this film with Brad Pitt and Piers Morgan ..."

Littlemore RBL

Random man: "Do you know who started all that stupid flowers-on-the-roadside for dead people? Dutch people in Holland."